The Vatican

Originally I was going to write a very long post/rant about the Vatican, but for politeness sake (and self-censorship), I will keep it short, but with some poignant comments. To begin this story, I'll relate a couple of events that lead up to the Vatican 'climax'.

First, we conquered the Colliseum (along with throngs of other tourist-conquerors). The outside of the Colliseum was very impressive, but only a fraction of which was original. During various revolutions and earthquakes, much of the Colliseum was destroyed and dismantled as it was treated as a very accessible marble quarry... especially for the Vatican, but let's not get ahead of ourselves. We learned a few interesting tidbits, such as the up to thousands of wild beasts that were killed every day left parts of Africa extinct of these animals (tigers, lions, etc), and that the meat of these animals was given to the Roman people. This was a special treat, since the people normally didn't eat meat at all. They also had elevators in the center of the Colliseum to be able to simulate landscapes that would benefit the carnivorous animals, and surprise the gladiators.

Next, we got a free tour with some nominally history student (based on how entertaining he was, there were some questions as to whether he was an actor or comedian) of the Roman Forum (or the 2% that's left of it). During this tour, he highlighted all parts of the Forum that we would have glossed right over, such as the toilets with their brushes (hint: the brushes weren't for cleaning the toilets), or the reason that no Roman statues have hair on their arms or legs. Trust me, it would be naive to assume that it was difficult to carve arm hair onto statues ;-) Supposedly the ancient Romans would bathe up to three times per day by rubbing themselves with olive oil, and then patting themselves with sand, and then scraping it off with a thin bronze tool, which happened to rub off the many Roman hairs. I bet they smelled marvelous afterwards.

This guide was so entertaining we decided we would try to hire him for the Vatican tour. Unfortunately, ancient Roman fate decided that we would be unable to find him the next morning and end up sitting in a line for the Vatican museum to open for 1.5 hours talking politics to some Israelis. I must have done tolerably, because they invited me to Israel.

Here is where I will become brief, and let you read between the lines. Here are some to help get you warmed up:

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For the mathematical among you, there is something special about those lines, can you guess? I might bestow my bongo point upon you (except if it's bongo, because he can't get his own points back).

Highlights:

• The majority of ancient Roman marble (and works of art) is in the Vatican
• The St Peter's Basilica is the most impressive (and thus expensive) church I have EVER seen, of any religion. It includes giant frescoes that cover it's 6 acre interior, which upon closer inspection just happen to be mosaiks of tiny little colored tiles. I wonder with whose money they paid for that?
• The Vatican must have the largest loom ever made to make some of the largest tapestries ever made.
• Does jewel encrusting a bible make it more holy?
• At 13€ per person entrance (present), and with 4,267,014 visitors in 2006, the Vatican museum makes around $83 Million CAD per year. Holy...

Dan.